The Steps of Life
Do you remember?
Those first sweet days of life
while Mother held you close.
You knew the warmth of her body,
her tender loving touch
as you nuzzled in her softness
and were nourished by her love.
Then came that frightening night when
you slept all by yourself,
alone in your crib.
Slowly, life had begun to change and
gently you were offered independence,
a virtue you were not sure you wanted.
Growing and developing now,
life was fun with much to learn.
Each new day the same soft love was there for you,
Helping you become more and more independent.
Then you stood at Father's knee and reached,
not daring to risk a step.
Yielding to fear and crawled to places yet unknown.
Then came the day when your legs became strong
and so was your will.
You made that first tenuous step.
You let go of security and launched out on your own,
and learned that you could go wherever you wished,
all in your own power.
Now you are five years old.
Your parents are preparing you for the next big step.
Soon you will leave the security of your home
to begin your formal education.
An arduous preparation for life.
All too quickly comes your first day away from home.
Now you stand alone in front of the class.
Then you experience a week at camp
with Mother far away.
Each passing day you are taught that you must stand alone,
be your own person,
learn to make good decisions.
As the years slip by
your independence is granted by the progress of your maturity.
A young adult now,
grade school is far behind you.
Once again you are stepping out on your own,
but this time it's not your first step
or your first night away from home.
More seriously, this is your first "life"
away from home.
At first the small apartment is cold.
There is food in the refrigerator and
a familiar photo hangs on the wall,
compliments of Mother.
If school had been a foreign land compared to home,
college becomes a whole new world.
All the morals and values that you were taught as a child
are challenged here on a daily basis.
Will you stay strong?
Or will you concede to new values,
strange philosophies, different morals.
Mother and Father are now far away.
You must stand for what is right,
But, what is right?
So many choices.
The world is full of people,
Different people than you knew as a child.
Some are warm and kind,
many are cold and selfish.
You question,
Who am I?
Why am I here?
What am I to do in this world?
Shall I do what I wish,
go where I like?
Can I be anything I want to be?
I will try pleasure.
This is good! -- for a moment.
But I find no "lasting" satisfaction.
Possibly I will join those who spend time in the bliss of an induced utopia away from reality, drugs.
No, now I don't think so; I see little meaning in their lives.
This is clearly a trap for fools!
Sports could be the answer -- maybe.
Athletes are strong and healthy,
here I find worth, team worth,
acceptance and order.
I am somebody - here, I am needed
I can make a difference.
Times goes by -- I have made a difference!
In the game -- but not in the world.
I am empty again.
I feel alone; I need - - something.
What is it that I need?
Love comes upon me like a sweep of glory.
My partner is wonderful and exciting.
I am appreciated anew,
life is sweet.
Disappointment!
My partner isn't perfect.
Working long hours, I am responsible.
Daily decisions are hard,
I don't have all the answers.
I feel inadequate.
Our love is sweet but life is hard.
So many dreams to chase, so much to do.
I have a job that pays the bills.
Our home is secure.
But, something is still missing.
I visit Mother and Dad,
Good memories, laughs.
What is it that I need?
Direction or meaning or something.
What am I missing?
Am I just a number, a primate among many?
I pour my life into my work, I excel.
But now I fear, my marriage is uncertain.
The love of my life - that I depend on
is looking for new love.
I am crushed.
My heart is crying out
Help, HELP, HELP!
My friends all have their own troubles,
they cannot help.
All that is precious is leaving!
I am dying inside.
There is no one to help!
I walk by the water,
quiet and in pain.
What is wrong with my life?
I - have - need – of - something - so much deeper!
If life is only pain,
if I am not really needed,
if this is all there is,
why should I remain?
I hate my life!
I consider the consequences of this option.
It is dark and cold,
Foreboding,
Fearful.
I don't like this option.
Is there not anyone who can help?
Can’t anybody understand my pain?
I call out once again,
to the sky, to the air, to the distance,
no one answers.
Then comes a person,
there is kindness in their eyes.
They seem to care.
I let them.
Relief,
someone does care!
I lean on them. Yet I do not trust.
They assure me that there is more to life,
but what can there be?
My love is gone,
and so is my life’s work, I have failed!
I tolerate their teaching, in return for their love.
Teaching that is foreign to me.
Isn’t religion just a philosophy?
I don't care for it,
I don't trust - - anybody.
Out of respect, I learn
I am taught to hope.
I find acceptance, meaning and direction.
But all are words - - just words.
Could some far away being
be interested in me?
I doubt that.
I am simply one of the millions of primates on this sorry planet
and I have failed, like so many others.
I cannot see that I have any value outside of this world.
Like sheep outside of the fold
we live and die and no one really cares, right?
But I am assured that
This is certainly not true.
There is "One" who loves us no matter what.
In the pain of loss and failure
I patiently listen,
wishing it were true.
It sounds too good, too easy.
But, I so desperately need a friend like this.
Again by the water, I look to the sky.
Again I am searching, wanting.
My lips are shut but my heart cries out.
Help, HELP, HELP!
God, if you are there,
I surrender!
Forgive me.
Come to me.
- - Tears.
Wait - - there is that warmth of love again.
I look around.
No one is here.
I have questions.
More questions.
I hunger for the truth
I am handicapped by doubt.
My old friends are all against me.
My heart longs for home
but I have no home.
Each day I cry out,
Each day - I am heard
at last!
There is Someone! I know love once again.
Not physical love.
Love beyond understanding!
My love grows. I seemingly walk alone
but, not alone.
Life is changing, fear is fading, doubt is dissolving.
I have new friends - no -
family, once again.
Once again I have value, meaning.
Significance and acceptance strengthen me.
I am offered a job; I am not ready for a job.
The job is good.
My boss is understanding and careful with me.
Security is growing.
I am happy to find a job this good,
I look to the sky, thank You for helping me.
A year goes by,
I am stronger now, and life is full of meaning
I live daily with satisfaction.
I have good friends, secure, honest, caring.
I walk by the water again
I am thankful.
I contemplate all that I have learned,
having spent most of my life developing independence.
How ironic to discover that
true life exists in absolute dependence.
Each day we walk and talk.
He tells me
He has been waiting for me for a long, long time.
I am finally at peace,
satisfied at last.
I have finally found what was missing!
I love you, my Friend.
Douglas Warren Greenfield
It is written in the Holy Bible:
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.
And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13
Jesus says, “Come unto Me all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you (join with Me) and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls, for My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28